Book Review Two: Burned

Burned by Ellen Hopkins, published by Simon Pulse.

I was worried that this novel would remind me too much of Glass, and while the format was similar the storyline was completely different. This book was disturbing in a completely new way. The narrator, Pattyn Von Stratten, is a Mormon teenage girl who is struggling with her religious view. She isn't sure if she believes everything the church says anymore. She finds contradictions in her every-day life, mostly from her abusive father, and questions why she has deep desires if they are sinful. I felt bad that normal things, like coffee, were temptations for her.

The main problem occurs when she goes too far with a boy she likes at school. She learns something about the students in her class, mainly that they can't be trusted and she is further removed from the social stratosphere than she previously believed, that she has no one else to turn to, and that she is surprising even herself with the limits she starts to test. What would be typical for any American teenage girl is a life-altering decision for Pattyn. It will make girls across America re-evaluate their own decisions, their faith, and feel connected at last to a girl who believes in "forever love."

It's a beautiful tale, even if the format is less than unique and not as gripping as Glass' dance with the monster. I liked the poem form even less in this novel because it didn't have enough idiosyncratic details. There weren't any particular lines that stuck out to me or that sang their way to my heart. I appreciated the relationship between Pattyn and the second boy she falls for, it was moving and heat-warming and everything you expect a first love to be. However, it could have been painted just as beautifully, if not more, in prose. Perhaps it's just me, but I feel that 500 pages of poetry is too much. It begs to be read like a novel and the artistic value becomes lost in the plot and characters. There weren't any specific poems that stood out to me, thus disappointing me in the ability of Hopkins' craft. She really impressed me in Glass and unfortunately that quality didn't shine through in Burned.

From an objective standpoint, the ending to this novel was probably brilliant. It suggested the chaos that high school drama and gossip can start. It pointed the finger at the effect of domestic abuse on America's teens. It screamed messages about love and faith, what to do when you have nothing left, and how control is a fleeting thing. From a personal standpoint, I hated it. I want happily ever afters. If I wanted sad endings I would read the newspaper, I read fiction to bring some hope into my life, to think about true love and fairy tales and "what ifs." I want to believe there's something more to this life than just wake-up-go-to-work-cook-dinner-go-to-bed. And while the faith that Pattyn eventually discovers may not be in God, the love she nurtures could be his byproduct, and therefore it made me want it to last forever. After all "forever love" doesn't die.

Book Review One: Glass

Glass by Ellen Hopkins, published by Simon Pulse.

I thought I would be speechless by the time I finished this book. However, I've found that I have a lot to say about it. I couldn't put it down. It's 681 pages and I read it in 2 days when I wasn't working. Which is really good since I've been spending a majority of my downtime just watching tv shows on my computer. So hey, it made me productive. It brought me back into the reading game. It made me want to write. But it did not make me want to do crystal meth.

If you're a friend of mine you probably know that I joke about doing crystal meth a lot. I can't stand drugs, don't have a tolerance for people who do them, and yes, can be judgmental about it. But I watch a ton of intervention and I paid attention in health class so I just don't understand why someone would do that to her body. I've joked that it helps you lose weight, which it does do for the narrator in this story, yet it completely destroys her in the process.

I don't know how to explain this format any better than it being a poetic structure. It takes the format of poems although most often it sounds like the narrator is just thinking to herself or arguing with herself. More like Kristina arguing with Bree, her personality when she's on the "monster." The monster is what she calls Meth (crystal, crank, glass all being other names for it). The poem structure will sway you into her perspective. You'll feel like you're Kristina. You'll feel confused and lost. You'll feel like you aren't rational and you're hooked in to something you can't control. I know it sounds ridiculous, but reading it made me feel like I was on meth, that I was a horrible mother and daughter and I had spun out of control. It was all I could do to put the book down and take a step back. I had to remember who I was versus who Kristina was.

As good as the poetry is, and it is helpful in constructing a believable narrator and story, I was troubled by the line breaks. There were many that were unsophisticated, such as ending a line with or, to, one, a, do, to, for, and on. However, most of the poems had a clear construction as can be seen by the image of the poem: one is in the shape of a G and ends with "uilty," or by what words are indented and which aren't:

"Walking with the Monster

Life

was radical

right after I met

the monster.

Later, life

became

harder,

complicated.

Ultimately,

a living

hell,

like swimming

against a riptide,

walking

the wrong

direction in the fast

lane of the freeway,

waking

from sweetest

dreams to find yourself

in the middle of a

nightmare."

(Glass, Hopkins, pg 1).

As you can see, the middle lines repeat the message of the entire poem, yet they do it in a simpler, more direct form. It was interesting to view what little poems could form out of their larger counterparts and to see if they agreed with the main message Kristina was trying to convey. So even though the poems were easy to read, and the book could be read in its entirety in a small amount of time, the smaller poems, the conflict with Bree, the images portrayed by the poems, all forced me, the reader, to spend more time on the page. I couldn't just take it at face value; there was too much to digest.

Unfortunately when I got the book I didn't realize that it was the second part to an already established story about Kristina: Crank, by Ellen Hopkins. I also didn't realize that it was her daughter's story I was reading until I had already started the book. None of this was especially needed information to appreciate Glass, however it does make me respect Hopkins more for not only choosing to write this painful story, but choosing to do so in such an intense and beautiful manner. I'm looking forward to reading more of her books in the future, and also to meeting her in May at the Festival.

P.S. I wouldn't recommend this book for younger readers. It's a sensitive subject and one that should be read with understanding and maturity. There are a lot of intense and emotional topics including graphic and suggestive imagery. However, I would recommend this to anyone who needs to understand why someone becomes addicted to methamphetamines and how they can continue to love and support them.

Future of the Blog

So I was thinking about what the shape of this blog should be. We all know my life isn't fascinating enough to constantly keep Michaela's Voice updated on it. Besides, it wouldn't affect a ton of people. What could affect people is what I read. I have a pretty extensive library of books and and even bigger list of books I want to read. Have a request? Send it in! I'm going to start reviewing what I read, writing down what I see selling at Barnes and Noble, and even some suggestions that I overhear.

Keep in mind that it's mainly going to be young adult. It's what I love to read, what I can relate to, and what I want to write. I figure if my writing career never pans out (and for it to be successful I'll have to actually get writing one of these days) I'll always have reading. I've always loved to read ever since I first learned how. I spent hours a day reading. I read one book in the morning on my way to school and another book on my way home in elementary school. You couldn't pry chapter books away from me in middle school. And I devoured young adult lit like it was Halloween candy in high school. So you can pretty much put your money on there always being a book in my bag.

First Review to keep an eye out for: Glass by Ellen Hopkins. This is my first Hopkins' book in preparation for the Teen Lit Festival in Rochester May 15th. It's crazy how excited I can be about something months away but if you look at the list of attending authors below you'll see why.

Greater Rochester Teen Book Festival

May 15, 2010

Nazareth College

Authors:

Laurie Halse Anderson (<3)

Coe Booth

Robin Brande

Kay Cassidy

Marissa Doyle

Simone Elkeles

Ellen Hopkins

Patrick Jones

James Kennedy

A.S. King

Daniel Kirk

Alisa Libby

E. Lockhart (<3)

Barry Lyga

Mari Mancusi

Lisa McMann

Ben Mikaelsen

Alyson Noel

Sarah Ockler

Matt de la Pena

Lisa Schroeder

Jennifer Smith

Terry Trueman

Vivian Vande Velde

Martin Wilson

Two of these authors are on my favorites list but I plan on reading at least a little of everyone else's work before the big day to prepare. Stay tuned for some reviews on what I read.

Much Better

So I feel much better, as the title suggests. The car situation is almost fixed (finally!) and I'm getting a pretty nice settlement considering the fact that I was pretty much screwed over. And poor Ruthie was crushed into a small box.

Ruthie after the accident:

Have a new car, still unnamed, that is actually pretty comfortable to drive considering I've been driving myself everywhere lately. :[ I miss my chauffeur.

Got my driver's license in the mail today. Along with a ridiculously over-priced heating bill, which I managed to get fixed. It's not so bad being an adult as long as you stay on top of things. Just know your budget and what cost-effective things you have to do to stay in budget. If that means buying a Sunday paper for the coupons, layering up to avoid turning on the heat, and doing laundry at your parent's house, that's fine. As long as you can stay afloat and you're happy, then what does it matter?

And I am happy. Particularly because I just finished this amazing teen book: This Book isn't Fat, it's Fabulous by Nina Beck. I hope my opinion counts for something in the Teen Lit world (just look at my recommendations to the left) because this one is a must-read if you like teen lit. It's hilarious due to the main character who doesn't realize she's a snooty New Yorker. She actually gets out and smells nature in an undeniably cute trip to upstate New York. She doesn't know what love feels like even though she believes she is in love, and to top it all off, she gets sent to fat camp and tries to keep it a secret!

I don't want to ruin anything for you, but if you ever get so into character that your heart literally hurts for someone in a novel, then this one is for you. I've got to say I fell for one of the characters (although Riley the main character is charming, it wasn't her) and my heart crunched up. I love that feeling because it shows not only that the book has heart but that it's making an impact on me. I'll remember these people. They aren't just words on a page.

Anyway, besides all that, the Christmas shopping is going really well! The knitting is improving, and I really should do this NANOWRIMO thing. If only it were warmer...

One of those days...

You ever have one of those days where everything annoys you?

Take today for instance, I woke up and heard the dogs whining (who I am watching for a week while my mom is in California). That was annoying because I had to get up earlier (like 6:20 instead of 6:30, but when you're exhausted ten minutes can mean the world) and take them out. Then I bring them back in, get changed, and notice they went to the bathroom in the living room. Fuck. Now I have to clean that up, eat an eggo quick, and run out the door.

Now I'm also annoyed because I have to drive and I hate driving. Get to work, there aren't that many shelves to do, almost seems like a waste of time for me to go in. I then keep myself busy for a few hours. Get back on the road to go home and no one wants to do the speed limit!

Why am I the only person that understands you'll get a ticket for going 10-15 miles over? Sure, 5 miles is fine (although during my 5-hour course she said you could get a ticket for going even ONE mile over!). So everyone is racing by me per usual and I decide I should merge over to the middle lane since my lane just became an exit only. I look at my blind spot and in all the appropriate mirrors, slow down because the car in that lane is going the speed limit (nice truck) and then am halfway over when a red car zips out of nowhere and proceeds to go through the middle lane and then the left lane, no turn signals in sight. Like, what the fuck, if you're going to turn use the signal. It's there for a reason. So not only am I scared to merge now because he came out of nowhere, but now a truck is coming up behind me and the truck infront of that is going too slow for me to merge over. I'm stuck in the exit only lane. No big deal, except I get off and don't know where I'm going.

I take a series of wrong turns and then finally pull over only to realize that when I switched cars with my mom I brought the gps in the house and don't have it with me. I call Ravee for directions and by that time I already frustrated and sick of driving so I don't have the patience for small talk. To make a long story short, I almost get killed like 10 times, I end up at the zoo. I have to turn around to get back, I go down what I thought was a street but turns out to only be the entrance to a parking garage, and no one in the city wants to go 30 or let me ahead of them.

Get home, still pissed that the insurance lady has never called me back with the quote for how much my totaled car is gonna get me. Why do I have to do everything? I had to get it towed, and find rides for me and Ravee, had to call to get it inspected, had to call both insurance companies with information, had to clean out the car and take the plates off and get it towed to a junkyard. Had to pay the towing company and drive back to Henrietta to get the money from the junkyard. Had to drive to Buffalo by myself to sign the paperwork and pay for a new car. Had to print out new registration forms and mail the license plates to my mom and get the police report and fucking keep hounding this lady to get with the program. Had to drive back to Batavia to get my new car, and pay for collision, and get everything transferred over, and get this car inspected twice. All this lady has to do is call me back. And she can't even do that.

Does she not understand that two people are sharing one car for three jobs and four classes? It's a little nerve-wrecking.

So yep, annoyed about all of that and now the knitting I was working on just got unraveled and I have to finish like 14 rows all over again.

Seems like one of those days I should just call quits and head to bed. Only tomorrow I'm working both jobs and won't have this free time.

Inspiration

New in life?

1. I got in a car accident

2. I got my license

3. I am in serious need of inspiration.

So, if you're like me in one out of those three items, here's two of my favorite quotes from Wintergirls by Laurie Halse Anderson. This novel is so beautifully and creatively written that it'll make you want to devise your own artsy sayings and colorful metaphors. You'll want to taste the words as they come pouring onto the page. I swear, it's an amazing tale.

pg. 15 "The snow drifts into our zombie mouths crawling with grease and curses and tobacco flakes and cavities and boyfriend/girlfriend juice, the stain of lies. For one moment we are not failed tests and broken condoms and cheating on essays; we are crayons and lunch boxes and swinging so high our sneakers punch holes in the clouds. For one breath everything feels better."

pg. 16 "When I was a real girl, my mother fed me her glass dreams one spoonful at a time."

As the story continued the writing was just more and more inspiring, however I had a hard time tearing myself away from the novel in order to jot the quotes down. But still, these are two of my favorites.

Two of my favorite characters are named Max

What if they're wrong

What if there isn't talent tattooed

under my fingerprints?

What if inspiration doesn't lie

in my veins

but lies from their mouths instead?

What's the truth but a fabrication

with collaborating

witnesses and pictures

construed to deceive you further

and branch your mind

pushing those hopes high.

Mistakes are made when you lose yourself

in daydreams

and future plans.

Mistakes are made when you're made to believe

rather than conceive.

Make it on your own-follow your own path-walk to the beat of your own drum

yet sheep walk among us

and threaten us to fit

in. Don't dare to achieve

don't dare to succeed.

Climb that ladder

and they'll cut the rungs

and leave you at the top

with nothing but your DNA.

How's that for humanity?

I've been re-watching Dark Angel lately and it got me thinking about how DNA makes you "all you can be." Which reminds me of my favorite character from Roswell: Max Evans. Besides the fact that he's extremely hot, he also had a different genetic makeup. I wonder if there's anything special in my genes to make me all I can be in life. I wonder if this is it for me. I wonder if I'll ever accomplish my dreams, or even what they are anymore. It's gotten harder and harder to dream in the past few years. I feel like I know what life is like and I can't ever get past the initial conception. If there's more for me I hope I can motivate myself to half-dream it and half-earn it. I wouldn't want it any other way.

Stay warm; put those Artvoice paper copies in the fire and turn to www.artvoice.com for all your Buffalo information.

Buffalo, I Love You

I can't officially announce the winner here of course, but I can tell you that there was a clear winner. Why? Because hardly anyone submitted and those that did barely could follow the rules. It was sad to see and frustrating that we couldn't do much about it since the deadline had already been extended.

I've run into this problem before as President of the English Club at SUNY Brockport. Either people really just don't care, they got too busy, or the prizes weren't good enough. I'm not sure what was the case here but I think Artvoice.com did plenty of marketing for the event from one of their hard copy issues, to a link on their website, to constant mentions in their Facebook and Myspace statuses. I'm not really sure if they just weren't hitting the target audience or if those who truly wanted to submit just got lazy or busy.

I was thinking about submitting because I wanted to show my love for Buffalo from my new city of Rochester. I wanted to show that I wasn't a complete traitor and that no city makes me feel like B-Lo. There's a kind of pride there that just can't be replicated. We know Football, Baseball, Lacrosse. We know the arts. We know snow. We know how to drink and party. We know music and disappointment. We know how to fight for what we want and continue our loyalty even when someone screws it all up. We can handle loss but we're still proud to say we're from Buffalo.

So here's a few pictures of what I wanted to incorporate into my video in an attempt to show my love for Buffalo:Here's my collection of playbills and some tickets from all the shows I've seen at Shea's. Amazing performance every time.

Here's 2 of my Bisons bobbleheads. I love when they give these out at the games!

This is my 716 shirt to show my pride of my area code/hometown. :]

This is a Buffalo pin I have so I can always carry a little piece of my hometown with me.



**Shea's Playbills:
The King and I
The Nutcracker
The Wizard of Oz
Grease
Stomp
Mamma Mia
Les Miserables
The Producers
Beauty and the Beast
Phantom of the Opera
Wicked
Rent
Radio City: Christmas Spectacular with the Rockettes
The Lion King
The Color Purple
The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee

Thanks mom for taking the time and money to show me all of these wonderful productions!

Hello and Welcome Back!

I think I'd like to start out by saying, wow, this isn't as hard as I thought it was going to be. Or maybe nanananana to all the people who told me living on your own is difficult and all that. Really? Were you just trying to scare me? Granted, it's been two months now in the apartment in Rochester, so I guess I haven't been out that long, but I would think the first two months would be the hardest, right? The first two to four weeks were actually hard, but not financially. Just emotionally. Getting used to being away from my family and pets was really upsetting. I think I cried a lot then (although don't let that mean much since I also cried a lot at home, ironic, I know). Also, the whole living-with-the-boyfriend thing took some getting used to. There's always the argument over who is going to do the dishes, or who has the ugly furniture, or why I don't have my license so he has to wake up at 6am to drive me to work. Although, if you see it from my side, I bought the car, why do I have to drive it too? I mean, seriously, that was a lot of sacrifice on my part. There was the car, the insurance, the registration, getting some work done on it, mainly doing all the gas payments, getting the oil changed and all that jazz. My work here is done!

Not really, my road test is on October 19th. There was a prior road test that I didn't get to take due to unforeseen circumstances (i.e. someone's carelessness that shall not be mentioned since he's been punished enough).

But back to the main issue: the apartment thing? Not that hard. I turn off the lights and unplug cords when I'm not using them. I wake up and go to work. I eat lunch, I nap, I knit, I go to the other job. I make dinner, do dishes, sweep, shower, do laundry, go grocery shopping, get more gas, read ... I think the biggest problem I have is deciding what to make for dinner. So no complaints. I'm trying to get back into the working out mode since I was focusing on everything else for so long. Now that I know I can do the daily stuff and make rent, I think I can get back to focusing on me. I have to write this book! Besides the fact that my mom keeps pestering me to get back to writing, I need it out of my system. I need to feel accomplished. I need the satisfaction and to finally do something with my life. I guess I feel like I'm floating through it. Or maybe it's passing me by. Either way, I feel like I could do this whole day-to-day, going through the motions forever and not ever make myself proud to have achieved something.

So I'm going to go now and try to write some of Chapter Two of Shaken, Not Stirred.

I wrote this little poem to go at the beginning of the book. I'm still not sure if I like it or not ...

This isn't Disneyland

Darling little toenails

painted Flamingo pink burn

like a candle in the dark. "Every

day is a discovery," she says as they wiggle

onto the flaming coals.

It's figurative foreshadowing to the discoveries the main character makes about herself and the major hurdle that she has to face during the climax of the novel. (Wow, look at all those English major terms I used!)

'Till next time, get out there and read!

No Internet equals No New Posts :[

So if you're like me (a recent Buffalonian who moved to Rochester to be with her boyfriend and find a new job and learn how to drive and get an apartment without the internet because she's trying desperately to save money before she hits it big like Meg Cabot) then you don't have much opportunity to check out Artvoice.com. Depressing, isn't it? Well, lucky for me (not so sure about you) that my mom still saves me the paper copies and I can take them out into this beautiful 80 degree weather and check up on the Queen City.

Besides, who wants to sit in air conditioning all day looking at a computer screen when they can enjoy the last of this dying season with some quality reading material? Not I!

Which reminds me, in case you didn't look at the last post, we're sponsoring a video contest about why Buffalonians love their city so much. So please feel free to check out the site, the rules, go film some stuff, feel patriotic ... eat a hot dog, check out a Bisons game, or just feel nostalgic, and SUBMIT SUBMIT SUBMIT! :]

In other news, I recently turned 22. Yuck. I miss the Buffalo Bisons and am thinking about displaying my bobbleheads proudly around my apartment. I miss my family like crazy, but luckily I'm coming back this weekend to check out my all-time favorite : ERIE COUNTY FAIR! We get our picture taken every year and put it on a button (so this year marks our 19th button, sweet, huh?) I also am a newly employed Target worker and am pretty stoked about everything but the khakis. Seriously, khakis? No one looks good in them. They just make your butt look all big and jiggly. Like jello. Which sounds pretty good about now since I don't have much food in the new place. Although the lack of jello could in turn decrease the jello-like quality of my booty. Ironic.

Well I'm off since I'm inside the air-conditioned library and would very much like to go outside and enjoy the sunshine before I start pulling doubles at the jobs to save on cash. Also, I just got Airhead, the newish Meg Cabot book I have been searching for, and am dying to read it.

P.S. Finished The Treasure Map of Boys by E. Lockhart today and it was just touching, endearing, sweet, funny, and pretty much all-around amazing. I am so grateful to have characters like Ruby Oliver to sneak into for a while. She's refreshing and silly and just neurotic which is really enjoyable. After all, who doesn't like a little boy-obsession from time to time? I highly recommend it (but read The Boyfriend List and The Boy Book first!)